Thoughts Pt. 1

In reviewing our chronicles from Rwanda, I realize that with our trip winding down we have yet to include much on our perceptions and impressions of this country and its beautiful people. So late last night (at 2am) when I couldn’t get to sleep I decided I would try and put some of those impressions down on ‘paper’ for you, I succeeded in only covering two. During our upcoming week of holidays (the center is closed for the next week) I will try and cover some of the topics which have touched us the most including joy, hospitality, stewardship, God, the genocide and reconciliation. Hopefully you enjoy the perspective, although somewhat harsh and overly sarcastic these late night rants are simply that: rants. Let us know your thoughts and comments, good and bad.

Joy (Why are Africans so damned happy?)

A shot in the dark…

In North America material goods seem to fixate us, we seek to fulfill ourselves with that new thing (gadget, gizmo, girl/guy, job, business idea, etc.). The fast pace of North American life and the consumer culture that exists teaches us to search for that next new thing, that next fixation that will make us happy. But alas… this too shall pass. The luster fades and we are left wanting, looking for that next shiny new thing to give us joy, meaning and hold our ADHD, gnat-sized attention span for a couple more minutes until something ‘new’ comes along. In Africa, a threefold combination of a slower pace of life, a lack of consumer culture and a lack of disposable income to feed this consumer culture necessitates a alternate mind frame. Instead of retreating into our own world of computers, gadgets, gizmos, books or TV, people (real people, not virtual people) meet together in real life (not some video game called Sims that simulates real life, but actual real, physical life) and engage in something called relationship. In relationship, people talk about life, the weather, sports, religion, the world, everything and anything. Relationships give Africans meaning and joy because people are the only thing that is present in abundance here. In Africa, meals spent together with the family are a given since most don’t have enough money to eat elsewhere and most only eat one meal a day. Elders are respected for their past contributions and knowledge and Grandparents live out their years as loved members of the family, minimum security old-folk prisons don’t exist here yet (but they are coming soon to an African city near you). In short, the warm smiles (not the forced kind that you make when you meet people for the first time because mom always told you to be polite and smile) we see here in Africa are because people are the most valuable resource and the most exciting new thing is a new friend or a new story from an old one.

Hospitality (I guess they don’t like money here!)

One thing that has blown us away here in Rwanda is the hospitality of Rwandans. For Rwandans, hospitality is an honor (not a chore). Friends visit each other without warning and sometimes without even knocking and someone you’ve only met once for 2 minutes will invite you to come visit them at their home, full well expecting you to come and visit them (not just extending an invitation as formality or pleasantry). A woman whose name I didn’t know and whose face I didn’t recognize invited me and Felix (another volunteer) over to her house as we were walking down the street to a friend’s house. Since we were already on our way to visit our friend we politely asked to take a raincheck (hoping she would drop the subject) as we began to part ways. She pressed us for a date and time and practically dragged us another 3 blocks to ensure that we knew where her house was so we could come visit. She really wanted to be our host. Two days later when we went to visit her at her home, we sat in her living room with her teenaged sons as she quickly ran to a nearby store to spend a day’s earnings on Fantas and Cokes for her sons and guests. When her son’s friend showed up unannounced she forwent her own and gave her Fanta to him instead. After an hour and a couple laughs, our visit was through and she prayed a heartfelt prayer. She thanked God for her guests’ (what a privilege!) and prayed for our safety and then on our way out the door, insisted that we return again sometime with our significant others (maybe she doesn’t like money?!?). This type of behavior seems odd, even ridiculous, to me and probably most of you, but here it’s typical. A lot of this probably has to do with the importance of people and relationship see joy. The only possible explanation I can come up with is that they value relationship and people so much that hosting is an honor because the guests are in turn saying “you matter to me, you are important” simply by taking the time to visit. This flies in the face of our North American attitudes of hosting and family visits being a mostly unpleasant occasion reserved for holidays or other select special occasions. I mean most of us like to see family and friends, just not that much, we can wait until that wedding in October or maybe Christmas. And hosting… it defiantly falls short of being an honor.

P.S. On a lighter note: JoAnna and I are doing well and will spend the next couple of days unwinding from day camp here in Kigali. On Tuesday we plan to go to Gisenyi (a beach/resort town) for a couple days and then will return to Kigali to spend our last weekend in Africa here.

We wish you well and love you all,

Alex and JoAnna